Shiny Things April 8th – 14th

Shiny Things April 8th – 14th

The things, good and bad, distracting me this week are: Continue reading “Shiny Things April 8th – 14th”

Giveaway!

My new YA Romantic Fantasy amazon link http://tinyurl.com/qftoasz
My new YA Romantic Fantasy amazon link http://tinyurl.com/qftoasz

Stop by Daphne finalist Abbie Roads’ awesome blog. Learn about my deepest neuroses as she shrinks my head on her couch.

http://abbieroads.com/2015/04/author-on-the-couch-karin-shah

Comment to get a chance to win an e copy of HALFLING, my new YA Romantic Fantasy!

And if you’ve come here from Abbie’s already. Please scroll through my old blogs to find extra goodies about HALFLING and my adult Paranormal Romances.

I also have a blog called Shiny Things where I speak about random things that are distracting me this week. Sometimes it’s personal, or about my books, sometimes it’s pop culture or social. Today, it’s Saturday’s Kentucky Derby. I get all excited about the triple crown races! And Marvel’s Avengers Age of Ultron opens this week. Hurray for May!

Halfling Extras

With Halfling away in the world, I thought I would mention my reader extras. I’m working on the Halfling page, but I thought I would show new items here first.

A Valayan soldier from the front, wings out. I am drawing some concept art for Halfing. My process involves drawing the figure on paper, then manipulating it on the computer. This illustration is before color has been added.
A Zidaran soldier from the front, wings out. I am drawing some concept art for Halfing. My process involves drawing the figure on paper, then manipulating it on the computer. This illustration is before color has been added.

Valaya and Zidara were once one country. The story of how the country spilt into two, and how the Zidarans got their wings is integral to Deyna’s story.

In the next illustration you can see that the soldiers wear chain mail. Deyna does as well on the battlefield.

Other projects I’m working on are schematics of Morlor’s palace and a map of Valaya and Zidara. The two countries that were once one called Amirhu.

Originally, I named the old country Amirhat, but my 10 year old son said he liked an alternate, Amirhu, better.

A Zidaran soldier from the front wings closed. I've colored this one in. He's in Morlor's colors, pale green and black with a crescent moon emblem to symbolize the Zidarans' worship of Radia, the moon goddess. Morlor's colors were inspired by Maleficent from the original Disney version of Sleeping Beauty.
A Zidaran soldier from the front wings closed. I’ve colored this one in. He’s in Morlor’s colors, pale green and black with a crescent moon emblem to symbolize the Zidarans’ worship of Radia, the moon goddess. Morlor’s colors were inspired by Maleficent from the original Disney version of Sleeping Beauty.

Are you a self-saboteur?

Say it again, John!
Say it again, John!

Are you a self-saboteur?

Those of you who know me, know I enjoy a variety (far too many) of TV shows. One of them is American Idol.

Yesterday, I was watching an episode from a couple days ago. It was group night in Hollywood week, and as usual there were various train wrecks being enacted; people staying up all hours of the day and night (and still not knowing the lyrics), passing out from anxiety attacks, fights, etc. One of these incidents, included a woman who displayed a phenomenon I am all too familiar with–self-sabotage.

Ostensibly, the contestant was not happy with her group and when they went to bed, spent most of the night looking for a new one, and most of her time the next day either fighting with them over it, or trying to find a new group. When it was time to go on, her performance was not up to par because she was clearly still hanging on to her emotional issues.

Naturally, she was the only one in the group to get cut.

I was struck immediately by the fact that she had sabotaged her own performance.

Why did she do that to herself?

Well, we self-saboteurs (yes, I struggle with this) don’t know we’re doing it at the time.

Procrastinators are some of the biggest self-saboteurs. To the rest of the population, procrastination is easily solved. It’s merely laziness. Just give yourself enough time to do what needs to be done. Even procrastinators can identify this solution. We always think, next time I won’t wait until the last minute, but the next time never seems to come.

This is the most vital clue that there is more than simply sloth involved. If a person continues a negative behavior even after identifying it, there’s mostly likely something more deep-seated at work.

Why do we self-sabotage?

Fear.

Deep down we’re afraid we’re just not good enough, at our job, our vocation, being a parent. Sometimes, we can even do it in relationships, because we’re not good enough to be loved, either.

We hide from the fear by giving ourselves a monologue. I didn’t fail because I’m inadequate, but because I was in the wrong group, chose the wrong song, waited too long to apply, and so on.

Are you a self-saboteur?

Here are some signs.

Do you have an excuse? Do you repeat it in your head?

Instead: When you’ve finished something, you should be able to say, “I did everything I could.” Not, “if only I had or hadn’t…”

2. Do you find yourself worrying you might do something wrong in advance? “I better not forget to take breath there or I won’t have enough air to hold the note.”

Instead: Focus on the positive. Be your own coach. “I’ll take a breath there and finish strong.”

3. Do you compare yourself to someone else?

Remember: No one else is you. Focus on doing your best. It’s all you have control of.

4. Do you ignore or downplay your past achievements. “Yes, I have four and five star reviews, but I don’t have enough.”

Instead: Celebrate you achievements. Success kills fear, but only if you embrace it.
Are you a self-saboteur like me? Do you watch Idol? Do you have some examples or tips for the rest of us struggling with this problem? I’d love to hear from you!